If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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