Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
