My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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