I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you are never too drunk for berry picking
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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