I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
