whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
