she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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