My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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