Kiss
Puke
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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