just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
