I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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