I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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