She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
