i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
