and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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