There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
