We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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