Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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