a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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