it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
