smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
