Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
