i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
