we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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