Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it's like heaven, but drunker
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
