stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
