i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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