i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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