I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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