my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Where did you get a picture of my penis
This girl is more easily done than said...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
