So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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