I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
