I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
