Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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