she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
