But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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