at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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