Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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