it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
COCAINE IS GR8
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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