remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize