I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
should my penis look like a turkey
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
