The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
