I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
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I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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