why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
