im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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