So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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