Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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