I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
