Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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