dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
