she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
