i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize