He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
