We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
