she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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