Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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