I puked a lego.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
