he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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